It’s Time To Bare My Soul

Let’s begin this post with this: I haven’t written a single thing in weeks. Literal weeks. Can I even still call myself a writer at this point if that’s the case?

I don’t want to call it procrastination. I can’t call it burnout either.

I suppose the full purpose of this particular blog post is to ask: am I alone in this?

It’s not yet June and I’ve already read 83/100 books this year. Yay?
It’s not yet June and I haven’t even scratched the surface of my WIP.
It’s not yet June and I don’t know if any of my efforts from the last five years will ever amount to something.

Am I alone in this?

I see Twitter acquaintances come and go as they further, or give up on, their publication journeys. I don’t branch out – I’ve found Twitter to be an exceedingly toxic place as of late. And all that “noise” has turned me into someone I don’t know anymore.

So many arguments over “the best way to be published.”
So many disagreements and “calling outs” for seemingly mundane things.

I’m not sure if I can continue on this journey.

I normally wouldn’t make a post about this, preferring to be uplifting for other folks. But every time I open my WIP, it doesn’t happen. Every time I go to blog something I thought would be a great new addition to this site, I sit on it for days, or weeks, at a time.

Again I ask, am I alone in this?

Last year was the most productive I’ve ever been. I don’t know why I feel moreso under pressure than when I’m calm.

I know I’m probably reaching, asking for any input you may have, but if you’ve the time, I’d love to have a discussion on this in the comments below. There’s something keeping me from continuing on with whatever direction this writing thing will take me and I just don’t know what it is…

14 Comments Add yours

  1. Happy to chat, Leigh. To continue or throw it all in is a constant war within me.

    1. I think social media as a whole – mostly Twitter, though – is really wearing me down. Can’t we just get published without caring about the “numbers?” Or the constant pitch wars? Or the popularity contests? Or the “you’re either with us or against us” mentality, whomever the “us” may be at that moment in time.

      1. Twitter has changed a lot in the last year. It’s less fun and more combative. I find it very stressful too and would leave if it didn’t help with marketing my books.

      2. It’s honestly why I decided to reopen my Instagram account. Yes, it’s competitive (I had to let autocorrect spell “competitive” for me LOL), but the more I log on to Twitter, the less I want to interact. I feel now the only reason I’m keeping it is to, like you say (yet changed), share my blog posts.

        I have weeks where I’m so active – @ and post – and there’s hardly interaction back. So, naturally, it started to affect my want to write at all.

      3. I think they’ve changed the algorithm.
        I took a break for a while because I found it too distressing. People used to be fun and post silly things but now if someone posts something silly it seems to turn into a fight. There’s nothing but people complaining.
        Anyway, I got no interaction on my posts when I went back. I don’t think anyone saw them. Only getting visibility now that I schedule 7+ tweets a day. It’s killing me!

      4. I realized most of my tweets as of late were complaints of things I wanted to rant about. I ended up deleting most of them after the fact, but I’m really reconsidering not only my Twitter involvement, but my writing journey as well.

        Maybe if I delete Twitter and start over (much later in the future), I would’ve written something by then?

      5. Try to remember why you like writing in the first place. Write for that, worry about audience and publication later.
        Recently, because of social media, I’ve felt that my books are unlikely to do very well because I don’t seem to have anything in common with the majority of (the internet using) population. I’ve always felt weird, but now I feel even more so.
        Strangely enough, it’s given me a lot of freedom to write and publish my books. Realizing that I’m always going to be on the periphery has reduced a lot of anxiety. I enjoy writing my little stories and I hope they’ll connect with someone else and help them like books have helped me.
        Please write your stories because no one else can write like you. Know you have one reader in me.

  2. Cassandra Henken says:

    You are definitely not alone. I’ve been on the struggle bus all week myself. I’m here to talk if you need to.

    1. I used to love blogging/interacting/writing itself. I’m trying not to become bitter towards the industry, because I’d still absolutely love to have my own book in my hands one day. But the whole business/thing has felt incredibly overwhelming as of late.

      1. Cassandra Henken says:

        I know what you mean. I had a Patreon for all of two weeks before I noped out. All it was doing was stressing me out and making me feel discouraged. Maybe you just need a break?

      2. That’s just it. I think I’ve taken a sufficient enough “break,” yet now I don’t know what to do moving forward. I’ve always had issues with finishing MSs, so maybe that’s just it?

      3. Cassandra Henken says:

        I’m the same way. I haven’t finished one yet. I lose interest/motivation/passion/whatever. At least I have poetry to fall back on.

  3. Doug says:

    I thought I was doing something on Twitter. I did chatter interaction, collected followers with those swap festivals ( I like you, you like me; I follow you — you follow me. Cute pictures etc.). I had ten accounts. I posted links to my books on Amazon. I posted links to my poems and stories on my blogs… . But one day I discovered the “analytics” button and found out I had all looks and no clicks. People were basically “liking” without actually reading. I paid for ads on twitter and went from something like 10 looks (or whatever their jargon is) to 20,000 looks. I don’t know why but I just assumed for a while that the analytics on my blogs and on amazon must be a mistake. Then I realized that it was all looks and no clicks and no actual reading of anything. No comments, no buys. Same with Facebook, maybe worse because their charts are so fancy, but no clicks, no buys, no comments, and money down the toilet. Thus, I don’t write much anymore, and it’s more painful than ever. It’s more like a disguised, rambling, overly verbose, incoherent suicide note to be unread and lost and blown away at the crime scene. Happy thoughts. Sarcasm.

    1. Honestly, I rarely do the follow-for-follow because half the time they’d unfollow after I followed them. Nope. Won’t play that game. That’s far too much energy. I also haven’t had a Facebook for over a year (after attempting to have one again at the beginning of the ‘rona). I truly miss the old school days of MySpace where one could seriously personalize their page and none of it was influenced by ad buying.

      The more I deep dive into the realm of social media + publishing, the more I of the stuff I don’t want to be involved in. I don’t want my online presence to determine if I’m going to sell books or not. The fact that many publishers apparently look at numbers now is really discouraging.

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